Sep 14, 2022
Financial infidelity is more common than you think. Learn red flags to look out for as well as how to become more proactive with your finances!
Why You Need to Talk About Money Openly
Marriage and money aren’t typically something that people love talking about, but if you want to have a strong relationship you have to find to communicate with each other that's transparent, productive, and respectful.
I was looking at a survey, and one had recorded 39% of adults just avoid even talking about the numbers.
Think about it for a moment. We're not even talking about hiding anything.
We may think we’re avoiding a fight by brushing off or keeping chats about money superficial, but that’s not usually how it works.
Finances, money, budgets – they’re necessary topics, and the more comfortable we get about it, I think that actually leads to a better relationship, a better marriage.
That’s Tracy Coenen who you also heard at the top of the episode. She’s on the show today because she’s quite familiar with how things can unravel those financial issues can snowball into something much bigger.
Tracy has seen that happen in her work. She’s a forensic accountant and fraud investigator with Sequence Inc where she investigates embezzlement, securities fraud, divorce, white collar criminal defense, insurance fraud, and civil litigation matters.
But let’s look at that side- financial infidelity. How would you define it?
“Financial infidelity is hiding financial information, financial transactions, from your partner in a situation where you have a reasonable grasp of knowing what they want to know,” said University of Minnesota law professor Jill Hasday. “And, keeping the information is harming them.”
A study from the Journal of Financial Therapy, found 76% of married couples involved in financial infidelity say the experience negatively impacted their relationship, and 10% got divorced over it.
One reason why it can cause such damage to your marriage is that it breaks trust, which is such a critical piece in your relationship. It’s hard to rebuild that trust. It takes time.
I hope you never have to deal with financial infidelity, but if it happens, how would you know?
In this episode, we’ll discuss:
- Causes or underlying issues behind financial infidelity and red flags to look out for
- Ways to start working as a team to either prevent or repair the damage
- How to financially protect yourself
We have a lot to cover, so let’s get started!
Resources to to Stay on Top of Your Money
- Best Budget and Money Apps: Personal Capital, Tiller, Mint
- Grab Your Copy: Jumpstart Your Marriage and Your Money
- How to Deal With and Overcome Financial Infidelity in Your Marriage
- Dealing with Awkward Money Conversations as a Couple
- Ask the Readers: Hiding Money from Your Spouse
- Divorce Money Guide
If you want to chat more about creating better money habits, questions, or share your own tips, please join us at Thriving Families on Facebook.
Thank You to Our Sponsor Coastal!
Support for this podcast comes from Coastal Credit Union! Come check out Coastal today if you’re living in the Raleigh Durham area and looking to bank better.
As a credit union, Coastal serves its members first and foremost including an annual loyalty bonus.
We've been members for years and love their service and competitive rates on checking and savings accounts!
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We’re grateful for wonderful partners like Capitalize. Not only do they support the podcast, but they help make managing your money so much easier.
Did you know that it’s estimated that there are currently over 24 million “forgotten” 401(k) accounts? In fact, the average American changes jobs every 4 years.
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Photo Credit: Photo by Milada Vigerova and Karolina Grabowska